i love accidental penises.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My ass is underappreciated
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
