if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize