I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
