real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That accounts for only three of the penises
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
