I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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