Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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