She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
