Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
soo... how was my night?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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