Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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