she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
