If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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