whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
