Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Damn victory sex feels great
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