I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
