he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
