You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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