Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You have to summon your inner elephant
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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