They should really pass out barf bags in church
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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