I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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