in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
