Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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