We named our party play list daddy issues
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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