i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
