Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
