Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
