so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
