She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well you can't waste a boner
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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