i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize