he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize