The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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