she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
