I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
