we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
