this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
