i just google imaged poop.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well you can't waste a boner
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
