i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
