The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
