a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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