you're like a bully in the Christmas story
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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