4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
