This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i think i just lost a toe
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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