i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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