I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
