I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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