those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize