Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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