I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
