I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this just has baby written all over it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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