well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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