it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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