My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
...so i touched it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
