It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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