Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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