spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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