I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
