she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
