She announced her abortion via fbk
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
