I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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